Why Simply Sassy Media Should Send *ME* to Aiming Low's Non-Conference

Why should Sassy Media bestow upon me a free ride to the Aiming Low Non-Conference?  I've listed all the reasons neatly below:

1. I'm flat broke.  I'm self-employed and have been having major troubles making ends meet recently.  Winning the privilege to attend is my only shot at going.

2. I'm new to blogging and have no idea what I'm doing, but it's oddly fun and challenging so I'd like to be amazing at it.  (And maybe one day get a comment!)

3. Life is throwing me some unfortunate circumstances (boyfriend broke up with me, work is barely existent, majorly lacking social connections) and I need some new and motivating connections.so bad.I.can.taste.it.

4. I've never been to Georgia, except for having caught a connection through ATL airport once.  It doesn't count as a visit, and attending the conference would allow me to cross Georgia off my 50 states list, thus bringing me closer to completion of my "Life List."

5. I'm curious.  Very, very curious.  And I'm not a cat, so I could really take in all the knowledge with the wide-eyed wonder of a kid in the candy store.  Or a kid seeing a squirrel puppet for the first time (can you tell I enjoyed Jenny Lawson's book?)  I'm destined to do something awesome, and it hasn't happened yet so this could be it...

6. Folks tell me I'm fun[ny] to hang out with...the je ne sais quoi is in me like the force in a jedi.  I bring something to the group...it's not just about what you can do for me, but what I can do for you.  I want to help you laugh, or cry, or whatever.  I'll even do your nails and pick up your drycleaning so you can continue to look stunning. 

7. You might be the only person reading this right now, and that makes me sad.  I enjoy writing about my experiences and would like to write well enough that people come back.

Please, pretty please can I come?  Thanks for reading!