I can be a real chump sometimes, and although I've improved at recognizing the situations that result in frustration, I entertained some real bullshit this evening. I spent the day running around for work and got home late, was about to go to bed when I received a text from "Tanya" around 11pm. Tanya wondered if I might be willing to come hang out with her for a bit at **Hooters because she was there with her bf (who was socializing with his boys) and was hoping for some company. Nevermind the fact that I find Hooters' food/atmosphere/servers to be disgusting/low-class/bitchy; I hadn't seen Tanya in a while and was a little bored so figured I'd join her for an hour and go home to bed. Somewhere along the line, I managed to lose sight of the concept that people rarely change, and Tanya was always in the habit of making poor decisions. When I pulled up to Hooters, the scene was sketchier than I recalled, and Tanya barely had time to say hello before she was suddenly involved in a loud argument with her [asshole] bf, who was driving off with some other girl in the front seat. He screamed his displeasure that Tanya had spoken to several guys at the bar, and should go home with them...and that [insert bitch's name here] has a boyfriend, so it's no big deal. Once he drove off, I realized that Tanya was very drunk, borderline suicidal, and most importantly that I was not surprised. So rather than catching up, I listened to Tanya's tale of woe, once again pointed out that she could be happy, but only via better choices, and gave her the choice between me driving her home or calling the police who would be happy to give her a breathalyzer to settle our dispute over her fitness for driving. She chain-smoked several cigarettes and went with option A. And that dear friends is how I found myself exhausted and driving a drunk, smoky, self-loathing individual at 1am. I had the opportunity to consider the situation after I dropped her off, and concluded that I'm a chump. She got what she wanted out of the interaction (support of someone who actually has her back, a ride), and I got a smoke-induced headache and the same life story she was telling five years ago. Why would I do that? I hate to say it, but it was entirely my fault. I entertained false hope that Tanya could be better company than she was the last time we socialized, and it was my bad. I'm in a completely different place in life, and while I like being a supportive friend, tonight was wasted resources that could have been better invested. We all have one or two of those friends, and I sometimes find it difficult to cut ties with them completely...tonight reinforced my reasons for needing to grow a pair and press delete in the future. Hooray for life's lessons on trimming the fat.
*Not her real name