Feeling temporarily better about things...things might actually be better...or ignorance is ultra blissful. Day got off to a rough start (not feeling well, unmotivated, self-loathing), but I took my work to the corresponding client's kitchen table and successfully avoided procrastination. I also made a list of things I can do to pursue happiness and hopefully shake off the loneliness and disappointment that have been plaguing my mood. I need to:
-Find an additional source of income by the end of the month
fill my time instead of allowing myself to get bored. This means going
to the gym if I can't find anything better to do than watch tv.
-Study more religiously for the GRE
-Stop checking my phone while I'm in bed (!!)
-Make sure to have goals that aren't dependent on someone else's action for the payoff
And most importantly, give myself something new to look forward to. Boredom and disappointment make me feel depressed and self-destructive, and I'm hoping that having a new experience to anticipate will redirect some of the frustrated energy I've been storing up. I have one idea for something I'd like to do, but not sure if it's a reasonable goal, and it overlaps with work/learning, so I don't want to get my hopes up.
Now if I could get rid of this hormone headache I'd be in business.