Saturday, August 18, 2012

Crap

You know how sometimes you learn a lesson and you think you're all good on that front, but then you get complacent over time, and play with fire and get burned again?  Yeah I did that.  When will I ever learn that the only man I can be sure is just a friend is my bff.  Which means that snuggling with any other man in front of a movie with a beer or two opens the door for him to make a move, and for me to make the situation awkward.  (Or at least feel that way!)  In the grand scheme of things it's probably not so bad, but it is sobering to realize that I'm looking for something more than a fwb or snuggle buddy or w/e, and anything falling outside of that feels wrong.  Not that I don't long for companionship now and then, but I need something meaningful and I've only ever felt guilty when this friend has tested the waters.  Now's where my too-smart-for-his-own-good best friend would interject that it only felt wrong b/c I hear my dad in my head calling me a whore, but I think this goes beyond that.  Off to bed (alone, thank God!) and hoping this hasn't set me back.

P.S. Bob hasn't changed, just reinvented the game a bit.

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