Post- Hanukkah Serious Thoughts

Hi everyone,

This is out of the normal subject coverage of my blog, but it's been on my mind since Hanukkah.  I'm culturally Jewish and practice very loosely, although I was raised in an still practice the Christian faith to some extent.  I wasn't really raised with much Jewish tradition, but I know and have picked up enough to feel a sense of belonging.  Anyway, around Hanukkah time, I stayed at a client's house who is Jewish and noticed that the client has a new star of david necklace hanging up.  It was attractive and relatively stylish, definitely something I'd wear.  But as I was thinking about asking where it was purchased so I could pick one up, I realized that I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing it out and so openly identifying myself as Jewish.  So I googled on the matter and found this blog post: http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/when-to-wear-your-star-of-david/

I was pleasantly surprised that I'm not the only one who feels a little uncomfortable with it.  But beyond that, I'm not sure I would ever want to wear a symbol that Jewish people were required to wear during Holocaust times.  People seem to have forgotten (Urban outfitters remembers) that not too long ago, folks were being labeled with yellow stars and being carted off to die, and I don't understand how anyone could feel ok wearing the symbol.  Am I being too paranoid about this?  Maybe I should stick with the hamsa.

Tired But Happy

So the new job is going well...I worked 14.5 hours today, but happy and felt valued and productive.  I have a feeling I'll be giving my life over to work for the next year or two, but hopefully it'll pay off nicely.  I feel blessed to have a good job doing something I enjoy with future growth potential. 

Brief update on everything else- things between new guy and I crashed and burned about three weeks ago, or more accurately he did some things that made me unable to avoid the fact I was his option, and lacking the strength to just stop talking to him I pushed the situation to it's end.  Nothing too awful happened and it's for the best.  It's kind of a bummer, but I'm learning that I'm longsuffering compared to the next girl- I'll work with a crazy schedule or long distance, but if someone can manage to get me *truly* angry or violate my trust in any way, it's over in a jiffy.  I don't harbor negative feelings per se, but the whole experience has left me feeling a little strange.

Also excited that my bff is coming home on leave for Christmas, which means we'll get some quality face time!!!

Love My New Job

Hey everyone!  I hope you haven't all given up on me by now...sorry I've been m.i.a.  I've been working roughly 60 (odd) hours a week at my new job!  Just got my first full paycheck and it is going a LONG way to help alleviating my stress.  Hopefully after next week I'll be out of the giant financial hole and able to start beefing up my work wardrobe so I won't have to do laundry every other night.  I hope you're all enjoying a nice holiday season!!

Turning Around

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted; I've been working A LOT!!  Things have been pretty stressful financially, but I just landed an exceedingly well paying job that lies within the realm of what I do for my own business, except taxes will be deducted.  It's surreal and has the potential to change my life in some huge ways.  I'll be working pretty much non stop throughout December, but will try to post updates when I can.  Thank God for the 1%!

Life Goes On

Everything feels really messed up right now...seems like there are disappointments at every turn.  Finding another job or additional clients is taking a lot longer than I'd imagined, and in the meantime I have bills piling up and creditors calling my phone.  Things with new LI are ok (even since the botched talk about how we feel), but I'm itching to see him; he invited me to come along on a possible trip with him and the guys, but it seems to have fallen through (not his doing).  I'm not young anymore and life isn't supposed to be like this- I haven't achieved anything I need to achieve, I'm broke, drowning in debt, and nowhere close to a solution.  It's easy to feel demotivated and lacking hope, but there's not much to do other than keep trying.  I've always had difficulty dealing with change and dealing with lag time on anything, and I have a feeling that upcoming opportunities are going to come with necessary compromises.  I'm hoping I can stay focused on the end game and make the necessary compromises in order to alleviate the major stress that [lack of] money is putting on me. 

Post Office

I lost control at the post office today.  And screamed obscenities at the employee.  She deserved it, but that doesn't make it ok.  Further update later.

Such Good Friends [Sarcasm]

Nothing like having 6 people (some children) this week ask me (seriously) if I'm pregnant.  And certainly nothing like two of them telling me that I have "that glow."  And nothing at all like my best friend and others jokingly playing up my neuroticism about the issue.  I'm 99% sure I'm not...but there was a very small accident.  Either way I must be getting fat, which means I need to kick things up a notch.  I'm resisting the urge to go buy a pregnancy test because I can't afford one.  This whole scenario could make me cry.