Life Goes On

Everything feels really messed up right now...seems like there are disappointments at every turn.  Finding another job or additional clients is taking a lot longer than I'd imagined, and in the meantime I have bills piling up and creditors calling my phone.  Things with new LI are ok (even since the botched talk about how we feel), but I'm itching to see him; he invited me to come along on a possible trip with him and the guys, but it seems to have fallen through (not his doing).  I'm not young anymore and life isn't supposed to be like this- I haven't achieved anything I need to achieve, I'm broke, drowning in debt, and nowhere close to a solution.  It's easy to feel demotivated and lacking hope, but there's not much to do other than keep trying.  I've always had difficulty dealing with change and dealing with lag time on anything, and I have a feeling that upcoming opportunities are going to come with necessary compromises.  I'm hoping I can stay focused on the end game and make the necessary compromises in order to alleviate the major stress that [lack of] money is putting on me.