Finally!

Sorry I've been away for so long...a lot has happened, and I've wanted to update, but have been busy and experiencing problems signing in (thank multiple sign in).  In a nutshell- new FT client let me go (a totally cowardly ambush), ex LI came back and said he regretted breaking up (but then lacked any follow through), and I'm currently lacking enough employment, depressed, and no closer to having my hip repaired.  But life isn't all bad...I finished the painting project in my apt (finally!!) and finally have time to do things for myself since I'm not working 70 hour weeks anymore.  I'm moving past the job disappointment, but the ex LI thing is a hard pill to swallow.  He's being an asshole (and I'm pretty understanding), but I somehow still like him.  I watched a video of military people returning and greeting their understandably excited family members; my second thought was that I'd love to have someone that loves me that much:/  Guess I'll be needing to fill my time with other things in the meantime and keep hoping:/  More soon.

Lost My Job

Ugh...just when life was starting to work out for once.  I'm reeling, but I'll survive; I believe I was likely hired and purposely led to believe that the position was long-term, when in fact they only wanted me temporarily.  It's disappointing because they could've been honest with me and I would've agreed to a temp position, but they led me on and let me go; the client didn't even have the decency to be present because apparently it was too emotional for her, so she had someone else ambush me and fire me.  It's disappointing, but I'm just trying to be thankful that I paid some bills while I had the job, and that karma's a bitch.  At least I'll have time now to take basic care of myself.  FML

My Favorite Blonde Children

There are two kids I hang out with on a regular basis and over time, I've started referring to them as my favorite blonde children.  They're amazing tweens, and I invest a lot of time in them.  Lately I've been feeling especially isolated from people my own age since I work so much and that's led me to recently question whether I should spend less time with them and try to widen my circle of friends.  But the second I started thinking about that, invites from people my own age to do fun things started pouring into my inbox and facebook events page, reminding me that it was only a temporary lull.  But more importantly, I've just come to the realization that my life has come full circle.  When I was 13 and working at a summer camp I met a wonderful lady with whom I've been friends ever since.  She was and is very supportive, and is primarily responsible for me turning out as a relatively well-functioning, college-educated adult.  All of that happened because she gave me huge quantities of her time over the years.  I definitely appreciated it then, but I have more perspective on some of the things she sacrificed at that time to be available to me.  The other night, I chose to go hang out with the kids after work instead of accepting a social invite from an acquaintance and realized that I didn't feel guilty at all.  I also don't feel guilty about the fact that my favorite blonde children receive more of my time than any of the other wonderful kids I know.  And I feel 100% confident that I'm doing the right thing because it's exactly what someone did for me when I was their age.  That sounds like such an old person thing to say, but I feel very fortunate to have had someone and to be able to give to these kids, because they don't have nearly as many positive adult resources as any of the other children I know, and they've come to view me as a constant in their lives.  And so I've evolved into the young childless adult who listens and helps with homework and gives more lectures than they'd prefer, but whose phone rings off the hook if I don't appear at their house often enough.  It's really scary to stop and think about how much older I am, and how parental I've become, but they're worth it.  That's probably enough nostalgia for now...busy day tomorrow, and short on sleep.  Good night:)

Happy New Year

Happy New Year Everyone!! 

I'm a little behind the curve here, but it's still 2013 so I'm not too late.  2013 has been a good year so far despite spending the first few hours of the New Year in the emergency room getting a cut closed up.  My resolution for the year is to find peace and relaxation, preferably in a way that alleviates some of my anxiety.  What are/were your New Year's resolutions? 

Post- Hanukkah Serious Thoughts

Hi everyone,

This is out of the normal subject coverage of my blog, but it's been on my mind since Hanukkah.  I'm culturally Jewish and practice very loosely, although I was raised in an still practice the Christian faith to some extent.  I wasn't really raised with much Jewish tradition, but I know and have picked up enough to feel a sense of belonging.  Anyway, around Hanukkah time, I stayed at a client's house who is Jewish and noticed that the client has a new star of david necklace hanging up.  It was attractive and relatively stylish, definitely something I'd wear.  But as I was thinking about asking where it was purchased so I could pick one up, I realized that I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing it out and so openly identifying myself as Jewish.  So I googled on the matter and found this blog post: http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/when-to-wear-your-star-of-david/

I was pleasantly surprised that I'm not the only one who feels a little uncomfortable with it.  But beyond that, I'm not sure I would ever want to wear a symbol that Jewish people were required to wear during Holocaust times.  People seem to have forgotten (Urban outfitters remembers) that not too long ago, folks were being labeled with yellow stars and being carted off to die, and I don't understand how anyone could feel ok wearing the symbol.  Am I being too paranoid about this?  Maybe I should stick with the hamsa.

Tired But Happy

So the new job is going well...I worked 14.5 hours today, but happy and felt valued and productive.  I have a feeling I'll be giving my life over to work for the next year or two, but hopefully it'll pay off nicely.  I feel blessed to have a good job doing something I enjoy with future growth potential. 

Brief update on everything else- things between new guy and I crashed and burned about three weeks ago, or more accurately he did some things that made me unable to avoid the fact I was his option, and lacking the strength to just stop talking to him I pushed the situation to it's end.  Nothing too awful happened and it's for the best.  It's kind of a bummer, but I'm learning that I'm longsuffering compared to the next girl- I'll work with a crazy schedule or long distance, but if someone can manage to get me *truly* angry or violate my trust in any way, it's over in a jiffy.  I don't harbor negative feelings per se, but the whole experience has left me feeling a little strange.

Also excited that my bff is coming home on leave for Christmas, which means we'll get some quality face time!!!

Love My New Job

Hey everyone!  I hope you haven't all given up on me by now...sorry I've been m.i.a.  I've been working roughly 60 (odd) hours a week at my new job!  Just got my first full paycheck and it is going a LONG way to help alleviating my stress.  Hopefully after next week I'll be out of the giant financial hole and able to start beefing up my work wardrobe so I won't have to do laundry every other night.  I hope you're all enjoying a nice holiday season!!